Doing ballet class for the first time in 20 years........

Well, I did it – I went to class today as a dancer and not a teacher.  First time for about 20 years.  I was originally planning to attend a Foundation or Year 1 class but my schedule this week leant itself to me doing class today – with 3^rd Year Dance Diploma students.  (So I could have a day to recover before teaching and choreographing on Thursday to tell the truth!!!) The teacher was very gracious and welcoming – we are great friends so I felt relaxed and comfortable.

He was faced with the pianist calling in sick so we had to use recorded music but the music he had was inspiring and it worked well.

I found a corner at the barre where I was not conspicuous, and focussed on what I was doing.  My rationale for attending a class was that I felt that after spending so much time interviewing students and teachers, it may be advantageous to actually experience learning again after so many years of teaching.

I learned several things:

• You have to focus in class – I faffed about changing from ballet shoes to my trusty slipper socks and had to work hard to catch the exercise that was being set at the time
• Working with the music is so important – it gives you breath, life, context, dynamics and pace and enhances your ability to maximise each exercise
• I was more aware of my upper body than I think I ever was when I was young in terms of the strength it holds and the use it can be – I think I used my arms, core and torso to compensate for my old hips and legs!!
• I had forgotten how much I love to dance – I really loved being back in a classroom as a learner and dancing.  I realised how deep my passion is and wondered if the other dancers felt the same way
• I got through the whole class, including grand allegro which was a surprise – I attributed this to consciously relaxing at the start of the 64 changements warm up jump, waking my thighs up with a few squats before the grand allegro and using breath to get me up there.  I also think that trying to allow my central axis to be aligned and relaxing my arms within an aligned shoulder girdle helped
• It is possible to negate being able to do a step by pre-setting a negative mind-set.  I fell over in my Advanced RAD ballet exam over 30 years ago doing fouettes en pointe to the left – and the pirouette combination today included fouettes on demi on both sides.  As we queued to start the left the negativity crept in, and even though I had pulled them off well to the right, I struggled to the left.  I tried to flip the negative switch whilst I was waiting to no avail which made me ponder whether or not once the negative thought is there what can be done to change it.  Was I not convincing enough in my own head?  Was I not seeing myself succeeding in my mind's eye?  I think I was guilty of both.  The mind is such a super power and this was an example of how it can win.  I need to consider this more in order to assist the students when they are in a similar plight
• I couldn’t help but observe the students a bit too – and I was concerned about how little they use their plié to assist with jumping, and I want to address this when I am back in front of them

All in all an interesting experience during which I did rekindled my dancer self and celebrated what an amazing thing it is to dance, as well as raising my consciousness in several areas.  I am not sure what I was expecting as an outcome which was probably for the best.  I think overall I am more aware of what ballet may mean to each individual and just how much your personal physiognomy influences what you can and cannot do, physically, and how much your mind-set can affect outcomes.  Apart from the fouette moment I actually felt serene throughout, and on a high for the rest of the day.  

Being selfless

Doing my research has taught me much.  I was thinking in the gym this morning – I often use time there to think as I get lulled by the repetition of the cycle or cross trainer – and I came to thinking about ego, and giving yourself over to the needs of your learners and how hard it can be to accept you might be wrong and that there is always more to learn.

As performers we have pride: in getting a job, sustaining it, looking good, doing well and being a consummate professional and that remains when you start teaching.  Reading what my students have said about how they learn and how they teach along with what my colleagues have said about how they teach has made it all the more apparent (in my opinion) that until one can release the ego completely, one can never reach full potential as a teacher.  The same is probably true of being a learner. Why do I think this? 

With regard to learners, I have found my interviewees to be open-minded and embracing of all they receive in class.  I teach nearly all the students at the college at some point in the week and can say that there are students, however, who are very closed-minded and unwilling to embrace new ideas.  When you boil this down, however, it can in some cases be related to insecurity, I realise that, but it can also be temperament, personality type and ego.

The same can be said of teachers.  I work with some fantastically open colleagues and I have worked hard to create an environment of productive learning and constructive criticism when observing and working together.  I have had a lot of powerful experiences with the staff this term, and to follow are some examples. 

I had a meeting with one member of staff yesterday who is so humble that she has booked private coaching to enhance her range in her classes, several who have taken on every ounce of feedback I have offered them, others, who despite their age and experience still listen and try to embrace change although they can be hard work at times, and one who is a really keen learner who has demonstrated humility in the face of a difficult situation in a mock assessment this week.  I have also, however, encountered a stubborn refusal to recognise that there is any other way than theirs, with no ears for the new, to the point where my suggestions had to become veiled in ‘Ofsted box ticking exercises’ rather than tools for improving poor teaching.  It boils down to ego – a performer who thinks they know it all rather than being open to development and improvement.  The writing is on the wall – this person has received negative feedback from the students about her negativity and lack of assistance with how to improve…. it proves itself.  But I do wonder if it is also slightly narcissistic, in terms of being that elusive dancer that others cannot emulate?  If so, then teaching is not for this person.  Either that, or they are insecure – which, when admitted is never a bad admission.  It is by wobbling that we eventually find balance – it makes us more aware and open to learning. 

Talking of learning – what do you think of this?  I loved it.  So simple but so effective!

http://dancemedia.com/v/7998

Lots in my head

Lots to muse; annotating the essence of my research interviews is highlighting so much useful information which will not only assist my research, but affect my teaching and my work as a Course Leader in so many ways.  It is very clear that the student interviewees are extremely self-aware, and have more opportunity than I ever did to think about themselves as learners.  Some have undergone a diagnostic which allows them to discover whether they are visual, auditory or kinaesthetic learners, and most of them are at least 2 out of the 3, if not a combination of all.

They all relate to different types of imagery, some more strongly than others, and the range of needs therefore within delivery in class needs to be comprehensive and clear.  I think many teachers would be surprised to read what is going on with each student in their class and I need to find the best way to share this without being too judgemental or all-knowing.  That’s why I think a friendly ‘teaching tips for working with imagery’ is a good route for me. 

Onto today; I was part of the panel for the 2^nd and 3^rd year Dance Platform heats today where 12 students showed their choreography.  Only 3 of them are taking choreography as a diploma minor and anyone can create work.  The first piece was created by a student who has been injured and who has consequently been quite depressed recently.  Her work was her expression of this – visual imagery which depicted not being able to get past all that was troubling her.  She is a high imager and this was so evident in her work – the choice of movement and emotion in the piece shown angst and pain.  I can only hope that it was cathartic for her to produce it, and I took the opportunity to say that art is born of all experiences;  and maybe could consider that her negative experience has become positive by nature of creating the work.

As the pieces progressed I felt that some of the visual imagery was very powerful, with strong metaphorical story telling visual imagery that the choreographers had created for their casts.  Their imaginations are broad, sometimes dark, and emotional.  I would love to have the opportunity of being a fly on the wall when they take rehearsals.  I would be interested to hear if they use imagery to achieve their vision and how they deliver it.  I’d like to know how the cast process it too.  All this did make me think that I might brave it and participate in a Foundation or 1^st year ballet class to see if I could be part of the process and experience delivery first hand rather than as an observer.  I might do just that.  Get the muscle rub ready!!

Typing, thinking, and other musings!

Having transcribed almost 50,000 words of interviews in the last two weeks I am ready to start really looking at what has been said by students and teachers about the use of imagery in ballet.   My first impressions are that everyone uses it in some way, but within that there is a huge range of cognisance, type, process and recognition of what is being used and delivered.  Of the 3 staff members that I interviewed, one is currently on a teaching course and is really aware and hungry to progress, one is a self-confessed ‘strategic’ learner who has lots to offer, but not always via direct answers to my questions, and the other feels content with what they know for the students that they teach, providing the shortest interview of the 3.  They are all very good teachers, who I have recently seen in action.  The last teacher I listed teaches Foundation students mostly and having observed her teaching them after the interview had taken place I was able to relate what she said about the imagery that she used during the interview to the class she gave, and comprehend more clearly what she meant.  It was clear that the students had limited anatomical experience, and indeed in some cases very limited classical ballet experience and we reflected after the class that the teaching had to be what we called quite ‘literal’ and obvious in order to allow the class to understand the basics of what was required of them.  I mooted that I would like to see her teach more advanced students sometime to compare her approach to them in order to ascertain if there was a difference in the delivery and whether or not more imagery was used.

The students offered a wealth of information, with an early days observation from what I have transcribed being that they often contradict themselves, for example stating that they learn a certain way, or do not use a certain type of imagery, but stating later in the interview that they learn a different way to originally stated, or do use a type of imagery that had been discarded earlier.  In contrast, some do correlate all the way through. 

In addition, the depth of understanding of how they learn and process imagery was really varied from Foundation to 3^rd year students which was what I expected.  In the end, not all selected students were organised enough to arrange interviews, so I had 1 Foundation student, 2 first years, 3 second years and 8 third years which has given me a spread across all years and a lot of third year interviews to work with.  I am happy with this as the third year interviews demonstrate great depth of understanding and knowledge which will heighten my learning.   I know all the interviews will teach me, but the third years were the most sophisticated and very diverse and I do not want to discard any of them just to have an easier time analysing.   

I wanted to write this blog before I get into formally processing the transcripts as I feel that my first impressions are of value, however informal they are.  I wanted to capture the essences of how I feel after the marathon typing sessions, which amount to about 45 hours without interview time included, which has been all consuming but revealing.  On reflection, I did not always stick verbatim to my questions, sometimes jumping on something that was said as it sparked an interest and I think for me that was the best route.  The interviews are richer for it, if harder to transcribe, but nothing can beat the teenage use of language, which meant that the sentences were often extremely fragmented – see previous blog for my frustrations about that!  

So, I now prepare to analyse the texts.  Wish me luck!

Fascination!

I started my interviews this week for my research and have so far conducted 9 with students and 2 with staff.  I have to say the transcribing is hard; time-consuming as my reading had warned me it would be, but especially challenging as my first transcription was of a student who has English as a second language.  She is extremely articulate but I found her phrases hard to remember in the moments between listening and writing.  My second transcription was one of the longest interviews so it took a while, but by the end I could almost predict and/or recall what was coming at times.  It still took about 4 hours.

However; it has been fascinating to have the opportunity to listen to what they all have to say.  I realised that we all spend so much time ‘doing’ or ‘teaching’ class but we never spend time discussing ‘how’ (yes, I am back to how again) we are doing class and I have gained so much from this insight, and the interviewees have said that they too have benefitted BUT…..

At the end of each interview each interviewee, including the 2 staff members, stayed to chat – mostly with the students about personal matters as they do not have much access to me during usual college time, but in some cases to discuss their learning and that they did not realise how much they use imagery and that they would probably work differently now.  I have to note that it was lovely; rewarding, but a little bit frustrating, as I could not capture it as it was unexpected and informal, and I feel that the interviews are perhaps not going to truly represent the whole experience.  I suppose I could arrange further interviews so I can document the ‘endings’ but with the limited time I have and the amount of hours the interviews I have already recorded are taking to transcribe this is not realistically achievable. It would also not be spontaneous, which could skew the data collection.

It’s also really fascinated me to reflect on how differently each person communicates.  In addition to the odd interview which contained my pet hate ‘LIKE’ inserted into speech like pepper spraying randomly over the supper, I have experienced precise, neat responses from a particularly precise, neat student, moments of fantastic insight and moments of confused answers which contradict themselves.  ‘I don’t know’ immediately followed by a clear response was the order of the day in one interview, which did actually reflect the nature of the student, in terms of a predisposition to be a little difficult and over-confident, along with the constant reference to self, which was not a surprise, more confirmation of their personality.  One interviewee was amazingly clear about how they learn and what they need in order to learn.  I know this and work well with her in class so this was no surprise. What was a surprise was realising that I was the same in so many ways it was almost uncanny and I had not made this connection before as my focus in class has been on her and not on me.

I think my questions were salient, but I am aware that there were occasions when the interviewees pushed for me to respond to them, or displayed insecurity and although I tried not to ‘lead’, some explanation was needed at times in order for comprehension of the question.  I also wanted them to feel relaxed, so there are odd moments of ‘both laugh’ in the transcripts, but as the Stamford Encyclopaedia of Philosophy (http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/phenomenology/) states; ‘We reflect on various types of experiences just as we experience them.’

I foresee an exhausting few weeks but I am glad it is underway.